The Icy Hill

December 2, 2006 at 3:41 AM | KCMO, Site/Personal | No Comments

OK here’s a first.

2 days ago, Kansas City iced the fuck over. Prior to that, we were having perfectly charming weather. A jacket was necessary, but the temperature was pretty moderate. And I even made the comment “the weather sure is nice for winter.” That was when someone informed me that a cold front was coming in tomorrow and that real winter weather was here. It came in the form of frozen rain, coming everything in a sheet of ice. Accidents everywhere, schools and work letting people out. The following day, it snowed pretty heavy in the afternoon. I had had plans to go to Lawrence that day to see Lauren’s photography exhibition and pick up tickets for The Faint, but that got scrapped when the snow came down like a fog and we rolled out of work early. That and the thing was moved to a different date.

The weather that I just described above was NOT the “first” that I mentioned. I’m sure I’ve seen similar freezing rain/snow combinations before. I’m still getting to that.

So anyways, I was driving back home and at a certain point, the snow went from white fog to no snow at all. It seemed that the snow was only happening in a certain part of town. Up north, the highways were pretty clear, save for some ice that was refreezing on some off and on ramps. But the worst was when we got back to our neighborhood, where it was still completely covered in ice. Why nobody had come by to do something about it was beyond me. “That’s MO-DOT for ya… good for nothing.” The Missouri Depart of Transportation is worthless.

Well, driving around on this ice was alright. It should be noted that while I don’t have mad snow/ice driving skills like my brother, Tokyo-drifting around turns with the hand brake (something I’m sure comes with living in Alaska), I can usually get where I need to go despite the road conditions. All you got to do is take it slow and everything’s fine.

That is, until I came to this “hill” (I parenthesize because it was more of a slight incline in the road than an actual hill, Zack) in the neighborhood that I needed to go up to get back to the house. That thing was covered in a perfectly smooth sheet ice. I could not drive up this thing for the life of me. And what’s worse was there was actually a car at that point in the road which looked like it had hit something or something had hit it. Hard. So there was this car chilling on the side, all messed up. And there was this cop car right there in a driveway, overlooking the hill. I saw that cop just sitting in his car, watching me trying to get up this hill. I already hate the police as it is, so this wasn’t really helping them when he remained the silent observer on the side of the road. “Damn po-lice, I fucking hate them so much. Serve and protect huh? Pssh.” I’m not sure what he could’ve done, really, but I just really hate the police is all.

Sam suggested that I back the car up, get some momentum to get up the hill. No dice. As a matter of fact, we actually saw another car come around the way to come up the same hill. I watched in my car, seeing if this guy knew something about this hill that I did not. Apparently not… it couldn’t get up the hill either. But this guy, after one attempt, immediately proceeded to back up and drove back the way from which he came. I’m not sure where he was going, since I knew about the other ways back to the house, but they were all super hilly too.

Out of options, I parked the car in front of someone’s house, and we walked back to the house. That there was the “first”. Abandoning my vehicle because I couldn’t drive up a hill. It was ridiculous. Even the grass was slick. When we finally got home, I told Albert what I had just done, but that fool didn’t believe me… at least, not until he saw that my car wasn’t at the house. I recovered my car today after work, after the ice cleared up some. Hopefully that was also the last time that I’ll have to do something like that.

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