Gas, Taxes, and Other Shit

March 24, 2006 at 8:05 AM | KCMO, Random, Site/Personal | No Comments

So I drive by about 6 gas stations every day on my way to work, so I’d like to think that I have a pretty good idea about what the current gas prices are in North Kansas City. I can spot trends and could tell you which gas station changes their prices when and what places are generally the cheapest places to get filled up.

Gas prices, to me, fluctuate in a way that is very much like how the IRS runs its income tax business. When oil prices drop, gas prices may or may not come down. When oil prices go up, that’s a guaranteed 15 cent spike per gallon of gas. In summary: occasionally they cut you a break, but all other times you’re gonna get the short end of the stick. I’m not really sure what the origin of that expression is, but it’s not a good thing. You do not want the short end of any stick under any circumstance.

With taxes, the government’s always there. They’re all like, heey, you just bought yourself a car/house did ya? And you paid the sales tax, huh? Right, but now you got to pay property tax. What the hell? Property tax?? You’re fucking taxing me for just having something? God dammn you. If you give/receive a gift, the government’s probably taxing you on that. If you win money at the casino, you get taxed. If you use gasoline, the government taxes you on that too. And we already talked about how fucked up how gas prices move. If you make too much money, you pay extra taxes. They’ve probably got it set up so that if you pay taxes, you probably get taxed for paying taxes.

This is the first year that I’ve done my taxes myself and while not a difficult task, I find it incredibly annoying that I have to even do it in the first place. If you owe the government taxes, and you don’t file, they’ll charge you interest and penalties, and come after you, dogs a’barking. If you are expecting a refund, and you don’t file… nothing. They don’t remind ya, they don’t say a damn thing. You see, the thing about taxes is… they already know how much you owe them or how much they owe you… so why do I got to fill out these forms in the first place? It’s like a trap. It’s like, if you miscalculate something to your benefit, bam, dogs a’barking. If you miscalculate something to their benefit… nothing. They love it. They fucking love it.

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