Of Geology, Hunger, and Napoleon Dynamite

February 25, 2005 at 12:09 PM | Food, KSU, Movies | No Comments

"This one tastes like the cow got into an onion patch"I have it. Undeniable proof that there is indeed a correlation between the subject of Geology and hunger! I thought I was onto something two years ago when I was taking GEOL100 – Earth In Action. It was an early class at 9:30 AM, not unlike the geology class that I am currently taking: GEOL125 – Natural Disasters. Back then, I used to get sooo hungry during GEOL100. Like, not just your average “boy I wish I had a snack” hungry; this was all out stomache-wrenching, tummy-growling “I’m about to pass out from not eating anything in weeeeeks” hungry. I never understood it. At first, I thought it was just a fluke. Perhaps I had eaten a small dinner the night before? But it happened every single class period. It started getting out of hand. I had to eat some sort of breakfast item before class just so that my stomache wouldn’t make sounds. I certainly couldn’t eat in class… it’s not a terribly large lecture hall and the stadium style seating gives the professor a perfect view of the entire room. I thought it might have been how boring the class was that was getting to me. But I’ve been in far more boring classes than GEOL100 and they never affected my metabolism like this. The most peculiar thing about it was this: on days that I didn’t have the class, I would not feel the same kind of hunger. And this includes times that I would wake up before or way after 9:30. I’ve had plent of other 9:30 classes before, none of which had the same effects on me. So it’s definently not a time-of-day issue. It certainly wasn’t how much I ate the night before. It wasn’t even related to my relative interest in the course. The only factor that I could imagine it being was something inherent with the geology itself that makes me hungry. I could not explain it, but I knew what I had to do to remedy it before class. On the days that I would forget, boy did I regret it.

No class since that one has had the same effect. That is, except GEOL125 this semester. The class is even in a different room… different building, in fact. So I can’t blame the location as having a part to play in my hunger. The common denominator here is once again Geology. There. Scientific proof that Geology makes me hungry.

And I guess now would be an appropriate time to mention the Napoleon Dynamite-esque actions that this class has provoked from me. Due to the forementioned hunger that Geology naturally makes me experience, I considered bringing some food to eat during class. The layout of the seats and size of the room (the huge lecture hall in Umberger) lends itself more readily to eating something in class than Thompson 101. Acoustically, however, it is very difficult to get away with it. The room is super quiet. The only sound that you really hear is coming from the professor speaking. Any sound that you make somehow has a way of projecting itself clearly to the rest of the room. Plus, apparently, there’s some sort of no food or drink policy in that lecture hall.

Of course, I did not know this when I brought a fruit snack bar to class one day, knowing of the hunger/Geology correlation, which I no longer considered a theory. Crinkling plastic wrappers are loud enough as they are already… but in that room, it was killer. So there I was in class, all unwrapping my furit snack bar all careful like, in slow motion. I broke off pieces from the bar, slowly raising them to my mouth so as not to call attention to myself. It those had been some tator tots instead of fruit snack bar pieces and coming from my cargo pant pocket, it would’ve been straight out of Napoleon Dynamite.

The other thing about GEOL125 is this: the exams are entirely multiple choice (48 of them… why 48??) and the questions feel incredibly trivia-like. They (for exam 1 anyways) were mostly about obscure details of several notable earthquakes in history. So there I was taking the practice exam, and the information on some of the questions was so obscure that anybody’s guess is just as good as mine. I would take a guess, check the answer key and if it was right, I was like “yessssssss.” Because it felt like a million bucks when I guessed correctly. Again just like Napoleon. Only he was tasting samples of milk and naming their defects…

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