May 25, 2006 at 8:07 PM | Random | No Comments

Coming back from The VC one day, we came across an accident where both the fire department and the police were involved. It looked like kind of a serious accident, and you know, you would expect as much when they got crews from 2 departments out there. A light conversation about firemen’s salaries followed.  Apparently, the firemen that rescue cats from trees are the ones that make a shitload of money, not the ones that are putting themselves in danger, actually putting fires out.  I don’t remember what the reason for this was, but it sounded logical at the time.

Sewing Buttons

May 5, 2006 at 1:53 AM | Food, Random, Site/Personal | 1 Comment

It’s official. I’m going to be doing a lot of sewing in the near future. I just did a load of laundry yesterday and I don’t know if I just don’t have enough experience with that task or what, but I lost no fewer than 5 buttons in the dryer. Wow. And here I thought that I had a hang of it all, having done laundry for a number of years now… but I guess I still have much to learn about the complex world of taking clothes from a washer and putting them into a dryer. Either that or my dryer’s some kind of a shirt mangling beast.

I never mentioned this one, but a couple weeks back, I sewed on my very first button ever onto one of my shirts. It too had come off from a bout with the dryer. I didn’t really think too much about it, I just figured that it was that button’s time to go or something. And it just so happened that I had a handy travel sewing kit among a bunch of other random stuff in my room. Trouble was, it didn’t have any needles. I actually had to take a trip out to Wal-Mart to buy a thing of sewing needles. No wait, I remember that night. I bought those needles after hitting up Granfalloon’s… with Wal-Mart just across the street, it would have been foolish of me not to take care of some very necessary shopping at 2 in the morning. So I went and picked up: 1 pack of assorted sewing needles, a 99 cent XXL chimichanga, and three bottles of spices (cinnamon, garlic powder, onion powder). I ate that chimichanga the very same night and it hit the spot. I think I might have made some scrambled eggs too. I dunno, whatever I made, it hit the spot.

The morning after, I googled for pages that could show a person with zero button sewing experience how it could be done. I found this page and this page, which I found quite helpful. The operation was a complete success and I felt an incredible sense of achievement, much like the time I marvelled over my superb mechanical prowress/automotive know-how after fixing my car’s windshield wiper.

Riverton High School Shooting

April 23, 2006 at 10:00 AM | Random, Site/Personal | 4 Comments

You’ve probably heard about the foiled school shooting plan at Riverton high school. I guess it was going to go down on the anniversary of the Columbine school shooting. Now, I’m not sure what drives kids these days to come and shoot up a school, but it’s like they don’t even need a reason to do so anymore. Back then, school shootings were driven by something… kids were angry at their peers, the world, whatever. Now, it’s like, well hey some other kids were angry on this day some number of years ago and they shot up a school, so now we gotta do the same thing on the same day. It’s absurd.

And I think it’s hilarious that these kids got busted due to information posted on I’m not a big fan of myspace, and I actually find it quite useless and annoying, with the exception of the pages set up by bands. But all the other things going on myspace… it’s horrible. Myspace, I think, is kind of like a Facebook for high schoolers, mixed with a little bit of the dirty part of Xanga. I’m not trying to rag on Xanga, because there are some really good blogs out there, but these are definitely far and few.


April 1, 2006 at 5:18 PM | Random, TV | No Comments

I’ve come across a lot of articles on the internet recently that discuss the topic of people swearing more and more. I’d link you to some, but I’m too lazy to. Plus, I bet you’ve probably seen them too. I even saw a news report on it. And it’s true. And someone’s to blame, be it music or television… whatever. While I don’t have the foulest mouth around or the foulest posts around by any means, I still think that I could probably cut back on my use of swear words in general. I personally think it’s a bad habit of mine and I wish I didn’t do it. But not by replacing with the weak replacements of cuss words, I just wish I could be a little more eloquent about the way I communicate my thoughts and ideas.

But that’s not really what I’m here to write about today. I’m here to write about the evolution of the word “bitch.” I think that “bitch” has come a long way since I’ve been around. Have you noticed? It used to (almost) be on the same level as “fuck” and “shit.” It’s almost been reduced to to “damn” status, and we all know how weak “damn” is. Like, I remember they used to censor out “bitch” on the radio and TV shows, but nowadays they just let that fly like it wasn’t even anything to be concerned with. Is this change caused by the organizations that are responsible for keeping the airwaves profanity-free, like the FCC? I dunno. Well, whatever happened, it’s caused “bitch” to become a lot more commonplace in our homes and schools and I just find it amusing. And liberating. Like I’ve been living in the dark ages all these years.

Gas, Taxes, and Other Shit

March 24, 2006 at 8:05 AM | KCMO, Random, Site/Personal | No Comments

So I drive by about 6 gas stations every day on my way to work, so I’d like to think that I have a pretty good idea about what the current gas prices are in North Kansas City. I can spot trends and could tell you which gas station changes their prices when and what places are generally the cheapest places to get filled up.

Gas prices, to me, fluctuate in a way that is very much like how the IRS runs its income tax business. When oil prices drop, gas prices may or may not come down. When oil prices go up, that’s a guaranteed 15 cent spike per gallon of gas. In summary: occasionally they cut you a break, but all other times you’re gonna get the short end of the stick. I’m not really sure what the origin of that expression is, but it’s not a good thing. You do not want the short end of any stick under any circumstance.

With taxes, the government’s always there. They’re all like, heey, you just bought yourself a car/house did ya? And you paid the sales tax, huh? Right, but now you got to pay property tax. What the hell? Property tax?? You’re fucking taxing me for just having something? God dammn you. If you give/receive a gift, the government’s probably taxing you on that. If you win money at the casino, you get taxed. If you use gasoline, the government taxes you on that too. And we already talked about how fucked up how gas prices move. If you make too much money, you pay extra taxes. They’ve probably got it set up so that if you pay taxes, you probably get taxed for paying taxes.

This is the first year that I’ve done my taxes myself and while not a difficult task, I find it incredibly annoying that I have to even do it in the first place. If you owe the government taxes, and you don’t file, they’ll charge you interest and penalties, and come after you, dogs a’barking. If you are expecting a refund, and you don’t file… nothing. They don’t remind ya, they don’t say a damn thing. You see, the thing about taxes is… they already know how much you owe them or how much they owe you… so why do I got to fill out these forms in the first place? It’s like a trap. It’s like, if you miscalculate something to your benefit, bam, dogs a’barking. If you miscalculate something to their benefit… nothing. They love it. They fucking love it.

The Cashew/Legume Debate

December 28, 2005 at 8:38 PM | Food, Nerd, Random | 1 Comment

Mr. Peanut, Times Square (Roving Rube)Somehow, my cousins and I found ourselves in a heated debate about the classification of the cashew over Christmas break. They were all saying that it was a nut, but I was like “nah, I think it’s a legume.” I’m not sure how I came up with this bold statement, but I think I’d heard something along those lines before from somebody. I don’t really even know what a legume is. Or what makes a nut a nut.

I figure, just because Planter’s sells cashews and they often come mixed with other nuts… does that necessarily mean that the cashew itself is a nut too? I mean, things don’t always fall under the category that you would expect. Like tomatoes… they say it’s a fruit, even though it’s always showing up with other real vegetables. You know, that sort of thing.

Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately), we didn’t have access to the internet, so this debate went on for a little while, with no real concrete arguments brought up for either side. The internet is wonderful for answering these sorts of questions… a vast world of knowledege available at your disposal so you don’t need to be or know the foremost expert in botany or culinary terminology in order to settle life-altering episodes such as the “is the cashew a nut or a legume” debate. I guess people used to go consult the local library for these sorts of things, but who’s got time for that anymore?

And so I looked it up when I got back. It turns out, yes, the cashew is a nut… But wait! The peanut is the one that is actually a legume!! That’s got to count for something!


December 5, 2005 at 12:31 AM | Music, Random, Site/Personal | 1 Comment

I have recently acquired a number of records and I was looking into purchasing a record player for myself, so that I can actually listen to them as opposed to having them just piled around in my apartment. I don’t like the idea of having to rely on my parent’s old combo stereo system, which was a radio/tape player/record player all in one, from the 80s. I am not so much concerned with the age and condition of this system as I am with what this system could do to my records, an analog medium whose quality could be degraded by decade-old equipment. Plus, my parents are still using it. And they live about three hours away.

The Crazy Itch

November 18, 2005 at 2:32 AM | Random, Site/Personal | No Comments

You ever get one of those crazy itches that drives you nuts because you can’t seem to be able to locate the correct spot to scratch? Like there’s some nerves that be crossed n shit somewhere… I’ve been getting a lot of these lately and I’m not sure if it should be a cause for concern or not.

Hyvee Gas

November 7, 2005 at 1:21 AM | Food, Random, Site/Personal | No Comments

A couple weeks ago, I received this postcard ad in the mail announcing the arrival of a new Hyvee Gas in Gladstone. To get people to check it out, there were two coupons on this ad. I gave one to Sam and kept the other one. They were both for 25 cents off per gallon, which I must admit sounds pretty amazing considering recent gas prices. But gas prices have been steadily dropping since I got this ad (have you seen it?? It’s like $1.97! It’s almost like they’re just giving it away now!), so when I went to go use this coupon today, it didn’t seem all that great. Especially since you have to buy at least $30′s worth of groceries on the same day that you get the gas. And there’s a 20 gallon limit.

But it’s not like the limit was ever the problem–my car can only hold about 12 gallons of gas. I figured that I could save a whole $3 if I drove down there on empty. No, the problem would be in trying to time everything out so that I would run completely out of food and gas at the same time. And before the coupon expired.

I failed miserably. But I tried. The last time I went to buy groceries, I had to all hold back n shit. I was all like “oh wait no, hold up, I can’t get that… I gotta wait and get some of that at Hyvee, you know for that gas thing.” And I had to try and drive a lot. The shit was ridiculous trying to get everything to line up just right. But I guess I drove too much and needed to get gas about a week ago. I ran out of food days before the expiration date (today) and I still had at least half a tank of gas. But I figured that I was going to need to get gas at some point and I didn’t forsee it dropping 25 cents in the next week or so. So I went down there, just like Hyvee probably wanted, and bought a shitload of groceries.

Food is more expensive at Hyvee than at Wal-Mart, where I usually buy my groceries. So I ended up spending about $50 on food. I swear the same amount of stuff would have probably cost me around $40 at Wal-Mart. And for what? I saved like $1.91 on gas. Shit, I have the receipt right here. I got 7.635 gallons of gas. God damn you Hyvee, I don’t even know why I bothered.

“Leonard Needs”

October 21, 2005 at 8:07 AM | Nerd, Random | 1 Comment

Leonard needs our help.
Leonard needs to file a very simple form, the 1040 EZ.
Leonard needs to get out for proper medical treatment.
Leonard needs to see a qualified physician from outside of the prison system.
Leonard needs to lay off the pipe.

These are, of course, the top results of googling “<your name> needs” (with the quotes)… something that I read about on Rachael’s site. I am/was every bit as amused by the results as I had expected. Go on, give it a try.

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