My Eyes! The Goggles, They Do Nothing!

October 8, 2006 at 12:19 AM | Food | 2 Comments

So I cooked that pepper the other night. I cut it in half, filled it up with a mix of minced mushroom and shredded mozzarella, popped it in the oven, probably baked it for I dunno 15 minutes? I’m not sure where I saw this, or even if I actually saw this, but I was under the impression that the anaheim pepper was pretty low on the Scoville scale. I was mistaken, thinking that this meant that I should not have been more cautious. I handled that pepper and when I went to take out my contacts, my god, the burning. It was a violent burning in the eyes that I hope to never experience again. I even washed my hands before, which is why I was so perplexed as to what was going on. I guess the capsaicin just don’t wash off using conventional hand washing procedures. It was traum-o-tizing, to say the very least. I had basically pepper sprayed myself.

In other news, I purchased an eggplant today. It was on sale. I don’t know what I’m going to do with it yet, but at least this one, I know, won’t burn my eyes.

Anaheim Pepper

September 22, 2006 at 1:49 AM | Food | No Comments

Anaheim Pepper

I stopped by Wal-Mart today after work to pick up some cans of condensed milk. I’ve been throwing down on a condensed milk pool with somebody on my team and its been working out pretty good, because it can be difficult to finish off your own can, if you don’t drink a coffee/chai tea everyday of the week.

Anyways, there were these peppers in the produce section that were all on sale… like 98 cents a pound. They were “Anaheim Peppers.” I’m not really sure what they were or what they could be used for but I like peppers as much as the next person (actually probably a lot more than the next person), and they were mad cheap. So I was like “whatever” and stuffed one into a sack and put it in my basket. I figured I would come up with something to do with it at some point.

Now, come checkout time, I was like “oh shit, I have produce” and stepped myself into line. There weren’t really any short lines available, but there were plenty of self checkout lanes available, but I wasn’t about to hit one of those up. If I didn’t have any produce and/or other non UPC-labeled items, I might have considered going to one of the self checkout lanes, but because I had that pepper, I didn’t really want to deal with having to look the pepper up. I’ve found that there are just some things that simply cannot be found on the self checkout lane produce catalog. Like for example, the bagged banana. And I frequently buy the bagged banana.

Also, I don’t know if I really believe in the self checkout lane. It feels like I’m doing all the work. Because I am. From the scanning to the bagging to the paying. Aren’t there people working there that do the scanning and bagging for people? Isn’t that what their job is? I wouldn’t want to be responsible for putting these people out of the job. I bet the invention of the self checkout lane put a lot of people out of their jobs. I mean, they have like 1 person running 8 checkout lanes! I admit they are pretty handy for when you got like 1 thing to buy and you just want to get out quick. Otherwise, I usually go through the manual checkout process. Its more real. There’s a human face.

While I was thinking about all of the above reasons that I was waiting in line, it dawned on me that I might have to inform the lady running the register what kind of a pepper I was buying, just to make things even easier. One time, a bunch of different peppers all got ran up as the same kind because they didn’t know what kind they were. When it was my turn up at the register, I put all of my stuff out on the table and stepped to the right and watched as she scanned the cans of condensed milk and the lettuce. As she got to the pepper, she picked it up and grabbed her produce chart to look it up. I kindly informed her, “That’s an Anaheim pepper.”

She snapped, “I knooow what an Anaheim pepper is! I cook everyday of the week!”

I was like “Dannnng, I’m sorry, I didn’t know you knew! I didn’t even know what an Anaheim pepper was! I’m just buying it cuz it’s on sale and all.”

“Yeah. Don’t make me send you to the back of the line!”

She didn’t do that of course. I’m sure the guy behind me would’ve loved that. I know, I saw the look in his eye. We finished our transaction and I pulled my bag of groceries off of the plastic bag rack. She was like “Have a good day… Mr. Anaheim Pepper!” It was hilarious.  I dunno.  I thought so anyway.

36 Eggs

September 15, 2006 at 12:55 AM | Food | 3 Comments

eggs!

I just peeled 36 hard boiled eggs for making deviled eggs, freestyle. That’s a lifetime’s supply of egg peeling that I just used up. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the fun just does not stop around here.

Fish Is Delish

August 6, 2006 at 11:30 PM | Art, Food | 1 Comment

He's so right.

Every once in a while, when a decision has to be made in regards to where to go for lunch, I always like to throw “The Jumpin’ Catfish” out there. And why wouldn’t I? I love catfish, as well as various other types of fish and seafood. And I’ve never been there, even though it’s right down the street from work. Every time I bring up The Jumpin’ Catfish, Amanda expresses her dislike for fish and we end up going somewhere else. So I left this on her markerboard. Hopefully, if it stays up long enough, she’ll start to believe it.

Coffee Drinker

July 24, 2006 at 6:58 PM | Food | No Comments

I don’t normally consider myself a coffee drinker. Because I don’t. I’m not one of those people who have to have a cup of coffee in the morning to get going. I’m not the type to order a cup of coffee at restaurants and I don’t frequent coffee shops. I am not a coffee drinker.

But what I do like to do is this: I just like to bust out a refreshing cup of ca phe sua da at work sometimes. Pretty much everyday. And around the same time, everyday. And it’s only small, albeit concentrated, amount.  Does that make me a coffee drinker? I don’t know. I tend to think not.

Chocolate Milk

July 24, 2006 at 12:57 AM | Food | 2 Comments

Somebody brought a half gallon of chocolate milk to our weekly team breakfast on Friday. This was all very exciting news to me because I love chocolate milk. And I usually get the whole chocolate milk, too. That’s usually what is available. And boy are they are delicious. I don’t drink it all the time, maybe like twice a year, because it’s just so good, I’d feel guilty indulging myself all the time if I drank it more frequently. That, and the fact that it’s probably not very good for you…

So imagine my surprise when I gripped the handle on the chocolate milk and saw “2% CHOC” on the lid.

“Oh man, what is this? 2%??” I imagined that it would taste like the skim milk equivalent of chocolate milk. And I can’t stand skim milk. Though… what percent milk do I usually drink? It’s the one with the green lid. Is that 2%? Vitamin D? I don’t remember.
Everyone was puzzled. I then explained to everybody that I love whole chocolate milk.

“You avoid trans fat, but you drink whole milk?” someone questioned. It’s true. Ever since Hai told me about the dangers of trans fat, I’ve been avoiding it like it was the fucking plague.

Ooh yeah. Whole choc is where it’s at, sonnn!”

I filled my cup and gave it a try. It wasn’t half bad. In fact, it was quite delicious. Almost as delicious as its considerably fattier brethren. This is when I came to the life-altering, earth-shattering conclusion that it wasn’t the “whole” part that I loved about chocolate milk… it was the “chocolate” part. Imagine that.

Rubber Ducky, You’re The One

July 8, 2006 at 3:47 PM | Food, Random, Site/Personal | 2 Comments

The Green DuckAll I could think about was getting a head of lettuce. The salad that I would make with it would be amazing. I’d cut some mushroom slices in it, some carrots, tomatoes, banana pepper slices, sprinkle a little shredded cheese on it, shake some coarse-ground black pepper in it. Some of that zesty Italian dressing. Amazing.

It was a different story when I got to Wal-Mart, though. I went straight to the vegetable section, looking for the lettuce. I walked up and down that aisle maybe 2, maybe 3 times. Where was it? They’d been known to move stuff around their vegetable aisle before, so I suspected something similar had happened here. But it was simply nowhere to be found. I finally gave up and got ahold of the nearest Wal-Mart employee.

“Um… excuse me, this may sound a little strange, but I can’t seem to be able to find the lettuce. I mean, am I missing something here, where’s the lettuce at?”

“We’re out of lettuce.”

“Ooooh good, because I thought that I might’ve been going crazy. Thanks.” And I stepped away.

I wasn’t the one going crazy–it was Wal-Mart that was going crazy. Wal-Mart, the biggest retailer in the world, was out of lettuce. Who lets their store run out of a staple food item like lettuce just run out? It’s so ridiculous, I’m not even going to try to come up with anything to compare it with. Oh wait, something just came to mind. It’s like that time I went to Chipotle and they were out of rice. Oh yeah, you’d better believe it. It’s like that, only about 10 times worse.

The one item that I really wanted to buy was out. This caught me so off guard that I wasn’t able to finish my grocery shopping with any sort of focus. I had no idea what I was going to buy or what to make with the things that I would buy. I just bought a bunch of random things. Things that I never buy.

Like I threw this stalk of celery into the cart. I don’t even like celery. And then I picked up a cheap bottle of hot sauce that claimed on the bottle that it was “muy salsa.” I asked Albert (who’d taken Spanish for the better part of his life) what that meant, since I was under the impression that salsa was a noun. He didn’t know. “Eh, whatever,” and I put it in the cart. I bought a can of chickpeas. I don’t even know what chickpeas are… I just seen Rachael Ray using them to make some kind of a stuffed cucumber one time and it looked like a lot of fun.

At some point, I came across this green rubber duck sitting on top of some boxes near the juice section. I put it in the cart because it was all cute and abandoned looking, clearly in a place that it did not belong. Just how did it get there? I imagined a small girl, riding in a shopping cart, somehow snagging this duck off of a shelf while her parents were looking at something else. It wasn’t until this child’s oblivious parents were near the juice section, all the way across the store, that they realized that little Suzy had possession of a green rubber duck, at which point the duck was promptly ripped from her grasp and placed atop of some random boxes. Little Suzy cried and cried. And now I had the very same duck riding around in my cart.

And then I went back by the produce aisle to pick up some kind of a lettuce substitute. I was determined to have that salad one way or another. This is when I came across some packages of “green leaf lettuce.” At this stage in my life, I’ve really only dealt with iceberg lettuce, so I was a little skeptical at first, but I bought one anyway. But now that I’ve had it, I don’t think I can go back. Iceberg still has its uses, though.

And I bought some unlabeled peppers from the produce shelves. It’s always a gamble buying produce that is “obscure” enough to be unlabeled. Now, I knew that I was buying banana peppers and serrano peppers, but more often than not, the people working the registers are clueless. They rang both of them up as jalapeños. I was thinking “yesssssss” because jalapeños are about a dollar cheaper per pound. Suckers.

Also, I thought the green duck was kind of a gamble too. I had no idea how much it was going to cost or if it was even in the system. I was really hoping that when they ran the duck’s UPC across their scanner that there would be some kind of a negative-sounding sound and an error message on the display. And then they’d be like “whoa this isn’t even in our system… here just take it.” And then the moment of truth came… the cashier picked up the duck, waved it over the scanner and the standard “booop” came out and 1 “Infant Toy” was instantly added to my bill. It was 97 cents.

The Carnival Has Arrived

July 2, 2006 at 9:15 PM | Food | No Comments

Yay!
They’re serving funnel cake at IHOP! I knew that it was only a matter of time before restaurants took a stance against the funnel cake monopoly that carnivals, fairs, and the suchlike are.

Sewing Buttons

May 5, 2006 at 1:53 AM | Food, Random, Site/Personal | 1 Comment

It’s official. I’m going to be doing a lot of sewing in the near future. I just did a load of laundry yesterday and I don’t know if I just don’t have enough experience with that task or what, but I lost no fewer than 5 buttons in the dryer. Wow. And here I thought that I had a hang of it all, having done laundry for a number of years now… but I guess I still have much to learn about the complex world of taking clothes from a washer and putting them into a dryer. Either that or my dryer’s some kind of a shirt mangling beast.

I never mentioned this one, but a couple weeks back, I sewed on my very first button ever onto one of my shirts. It too had come off from a bout with the dryer. I didn’t really think too much about it, I just figured that it was that button’s time to go or something. And it just so happened that I had a handy travel sewing kit among a bunch of other random stuff in my room. Trouble was, it didn’t have any needles. I actually had to take a trip out to Wal-Mart to buy a thing of sewing needles. No wait, I remember that night. I bought those needles after hitting up Granfalloon’s… with Wal-Mart just across the street, it would have been foolish of me not to take care of some very necessary shopping at 2 in the morning. So I went and picked up: 1 pack of assorted sewing needles, a 99 cent XXL chimichanga, and three bottles of spices (cinnamon, garlic powder, onion powder). I ate that chimichanga the very same night and it hit the spot. I think I might have made some scrambled eggs too. I dunno, whatever I made, it hit the spot.

The morning after, I googled for pages that could show a person with zero button sewing experience how it could be done. I found this page and this page, which I found quite helpful. The operation was a complete success and I felt an incredible sense of achievement, much like the time I marvelled over my superb mechanical prowress/automotive know-how after fixing my car’s windshield wiper.

I Love Food

May 3, 2006 at 12:40 AM | Food, Site/Personal, TV | 2 Comments

I absolutely adore food! I love eating it, I love cooking it, I love watching other people cooking! I’m not sure where I stand on the issue of watching other people eat or having other people watch me eat, but it’s probably OK too. As a matter of fact, my favorite channel as of late has been the Food Network. They’ve got interesting shows on there about food found in other parts of the world… hell even the shows about the different foods found across the US are pretty interesting because there are just so many stories behind it all. Every dish has its unique history and I find it incredibly entertaining and educational, and thus is a perfect candidate for the “edutainment” category.

And then they got the standard cooking shows where a host shows you how to cook up something wild. And you’re watching it and you’ve convinced yourself hey I could do that too… if they’re doing it, why can’t I? They make it look so terribly easy, don’t they? And the thing is, you have no idea if what they’ve cooked on the show is any good. A third party’s opinion never helps either… I don’t recall ever seeing someone dislike food cooked on one of those cooking shows. But maybe it is actually that good? Who knows.

What else do they got? Food competition shows. Iron Chef is the classic example, but they’ve got new ones… the other day I was watching one about building gingerbread mansions, that one was pretty interesting. One team was building Frank Lloyd Wright’s Fallingwater, the only building that I recognized. I think I may have already mentioned this before, but I think Frank Lloyd Wright was a sham… but that’s another story.

And then they got the lovely Giada De Laurentiis on there, I’m pretty sure that I’m in love with her.

But anyways, the other day, I was baking these chicken drumsticks in a very freestyle manner and I was thinking that perhaps it would be cool to put some of these freestyle recipes on here. Or compile them into a book when I get enough of them. Now, the drumstick recipe I don’t quite have down yet because I’m still working out the kinks. Now, when I say freestyle, I mean cooking without following a certain recipe and probably with little to no precise measurements. Just pulling stuff off shelves and cabinets, throwing it all together to make a dish. But then I thought, if I documented these recipes, would they cease to be freestyle? I think that they would. But is that really important? Every documented recipe must have had its beginnings in freestyle experimentation, right? I would simply be sharing the fruits of my own experiments. Now, how many of these should become full fledged recipes that somebody would want to actually follow on a regular basis? Which ones are worthy of reproduction? Who knows.


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